L’histoire de sa vie

I've won a lot of things. Not as many as some people I know, but I have had good fortune when it comes to contests. I've won an iPad from Neatorama, a signed Manny Pacquiao-Antonio Margarito boxing glove from Time Warner, and various other things from other groups: DVDs, movie tickets, magnetic toys, various kitsch, and a lot of free beers at pubquiz. I've also "won" things that have turned out to be less exciting, like a free trip to Vegas that was not free, or a signed basketball from Cricket Wireless that never actually materialized.

But overall, my luck with contests has been awesome. Sometimes it's just because I'm in the right place at the right time, as was the case for the first contest victory I ever won. I was very young, listening to Oldies 94.5, a station that no longer exists (in 2000, they switched frequencies with The Buzz, which still exists, and in 2006 and 2009 changed call signs and formats), and they had a contest that I happened to hear, at the right time that I happened to be whatever number caller they wanted.

The three songs, "Proud Mary," "Along Comes Mary," and a third song I cannot recall, had a common theme (hint: they all had the name Mary in the title), and I was asked to name that theme (see previous hint). I did so, and won!

The prize was awesome: two free movie tickets and $50 to a restaurant. I don't remember what restaurant though I think it might have been a steakhouse. And with the movie tickets, I went to see Galaxy Quest, which of course was awesome.

I'm not quite convinced that I was actually old enough to win a contest, and I have to think the radio announcers probably thought I was a woman. Every contest I've won since has made it clear that there is a minimum age to win (usually eighteen or sometimes twenty-one) and the idea that a pre-teen can win a radio contest clashes with this.

Nonetheless, it was an awesome start to what has thus far been a pretty successful contest record. Thanks, KLDE, even if you're long gone.

Ideally, reading my blog will contribute not only to you formulating better (read: correct) opinions, but also to your knowledge of worldly things. Maybe this will become a regular feature if I can think of enough things to “teach.”

There are two ways to eat a lobster, in my experience. Both of them are delicious. First, the hard way:

When you are served the lobster, you will notice that you have been given tools, a bib, and a garlic butter sauce. Hopefully one of these tools is a large knife, but it’s possible you did not receive this. One tool will definitely be a nutcracker-type apparatus. This one is crucial.

First, take off all the legs. If the lobster is cooked right, this is easy to do using a slight twist and pull. You may have to hold the tail back at this point. These have meat in them and you can eat them now or put them aside for later.

Next, take off the claws, also by twisting and pulling. Pull out the “thumb” part and then using the nutcracker-type apparatus (NTA from here on out), crack those babies open and enjoy the delicious meat inside (I would argue the best part) using garlic butter if you so desire.

Now, hold the tail straight, twist and pull it from the torso. Most people consider this the best part (I just love those claws is all) so get excited. If you have a knife, cut the tail “hot-dog-style” on top so that you can easily get to the meat. If not, use your fingers or the NTA to break the tail open. Eat that meat! Be careful with the parts that are not lobster-colored. Some of these parts are edible (red roe), others are not so much (the green parts).

And the easy way: Go to Luke’s Lobster or any other lobster roll place of good repute and order a lobster roll. You won’t be disappointed and there’s really no work involved other than moving your hand to your mouth. Don’t even need silverware. And I have to say this is even more delicious.

Enjoy!