Posts Tagged ‘clothing’

Attire Emoji

Posted in Ridiculum on April 12th, 2016 by Nathan – 1 Comment
Attire Emoji

Clearly I'm not a great attire emoji designer…

Weddings, Birthdays, Special Events: I'm at a point in my life where I'm increasingly receiving invitations that have the same basic format: who/what/when/where/attire. That last one being the newcomer, and a confusing newcomer at that. "Cocktail attire," "semi-formal," "business casual," and many other descriptions all serve the same purpose: to very loosely and confusingly tell me something that my latest idea, attire emoji, could have told me better.

What, for example, is meant by "cocktail attire"? Wikipedia ignores this concept altogether and redirects directly to the article on "Semi-formal." The only picture on that page, however, is decidedly formal: a Canadian historian in black tie. Indeed, the same article lists black tie as a suggestion, though that is also listed on the page for formal. Most other sources (sorry, Wiki, I usually turn to you first) provide a wide range of options for cocktail attire: slacks with a jacket, suit with no tie, and suit with tie are all considered options, though this is a fairly wide spectrum.

Or take, for example, "business casual," which in some parts of America means jeans with an untucked button-up are acceptable but in other parts implies French cuffs and slacks. And in both of these examples, I'm only touching on men's fashion; where women are concerned, these labels are even more cryptic.

My solution is simple: when you create an invitation, do away with the complex gibberish phrases that normally adorn the bottom right, and replace them with attire emojis. If men are expected to wear a suit and tie and women would be comfortable in a little black dress, you can try to get that across through age-old code-words like "evening informal" (as apparently that's what that means), or you can instead provide a set of two emoji that accomplish the same task.

I should clarify here that I don't intend to suggest a specific set of emoji; any custom images will do as long as they serve the emoji purpose of conveying information in a single simple character. These pictographs or hieroglyphics (which is really all emoji are) can get across a lot more information, perhaps a thousand times as much, as the old adage suggests, as the words we use today.

Yay! Football season is here!

Posted in Sports and Games on September 11th, 2011 by Nathan – Be the first to comment

Arian Foster: I know he's not playing today but the dude is a boss. Looking forward to him beasting in the rest of the season.Like many of you, I caught the Pack vs Who Dat game on Thursday night from beginning to end. I’m not a fan of either team (I respect both) but was thrilled because football is back. Of course, I was less thrilled when Mayor Bloomberg interrupted it to exclaim that there was a terrorist threat, “from unverified sources,” that was apparently more important than FOOTBALL.

I was peeved because, of course, nothing is more important than football.

As you read this (assuming you’re reading it in real time) I’m watching my Houston Texans dismantle a less-than-prepared-without-Peyton-Manning Colts and I’m pumped. Football means a lot of things for me: beer, Doritos commercials, chances to wear a jersey with the name Schaub on the back, fantasy sports, and just the general excitement that comes with the new sports season.

I’ve written about this before, but the sentiments are even stronger this year as the Astros chase futility in a way they have never before done. They are four losses away from 100, a feat they’ve never before accomplished. At the same time, the owner doesn’t care, a new owner is probably not here, and they may have to move to the AL. There’s no silver lining on that cloud.

But for the next several months I don’t have to care. Instead, I get to watch the Texans and Cowboys with entirely different sorts of letdowns. But at least neither of them can lose 100 games.

Why are there pins in shirts?

Posted in Ridiculum on August 17th, 2011 by Nathan – Be the first to comment

I don’t want to risk becoming a fashion blog because I’m not female, not a hipster, not boring, and, frankly, annoyed by the sheer number of fashion blogs filling the tubes. However, I do have one question regarding fashion, or anyway, fashion items.

Now that I’m gainfully employed, I wear ‘business casual’ outfits, implying that I am appropriate enough in dress to work at a place as fine as JPMorgan. These outfits include button-down shirts, slacks, belts, dark socks and shoes, and a general good attitude.

Unfortunately, these shirts sometimes include pins. And this perplexes me.

Take as an example a beautiful black striped shirt that I recently purchased. The collar had a cardboard thing inside it, perfectly understandable to me, the pocket had a sticker on it, also acceptable, and the button hole near the chest had a tag running through it. In addition, there was an extremely sharp pin (sharp enough that I could later use it to pop a blister with no pain) running through the top button area.

I nearly pricked my finger.

Obviously this annoyed me greatly. So I’d like to ask, why are there pins in shirts? Maybe in dress shirts this makes some sense in order to keep the sleeves in the right place, but in a less dressy shirt, why is this pin necessary? Any ideas will be greatly appreciated.

My Pony Bar Shirt!

Posted in Beer on May 12th, 2011 by Nathan – 1 Comment

The other sleeve has an American flag and says "All-American." As if I needed a shirt to prove that.When I got home last night, I put on “Dickies [feat. Bun B & Young Jeezy]” by Pimp C, may he rest in peace. The reason for such a celebratory song is that as Pimp C stated, I did in fact “got my Dickies on.” In this case, my Dickies was a brand new shirt from the Pony Bar.

I blogged about the Pony Bar back in November 2009. Since then, I began filling out a chart of all the beers I drank at the wonderful establishment, documenting the date as well as my rating for the beers. By March of this year, I had reached number ninety-nine. I knew that number 100 would have to be a special occasion.

Well, last night after my senior dinner, Rebecca and Yoni and I went to the Pony for my number 100, a free beer, and a free shirt. The shirt (picture above stolen from the “All Americans page” on which I will soon have my name) is a high-quality Dickies shirt. It marks two things: that I’ve had 100 beers at the Pony, and that I’ve spent nearly two years of fun times there.

As I leave New York, the Pony will be high on my list of things I’ll miss. It was a great place for American craft brews and for a lot of fun through the years. I started another sheet (101 is already filled out) and got an ID card that identifies me when I come in. But I think it’ll be a long time, if ever, until I fill out the second chart. End of an era, but great marking of a legacy. Thank you, Pony.

Things that cannot be done with just one thumb

Posted in Ridiculum on November 5th, 2010 by Nathan – 1 Comment

My phone doesn't work well even with two thumbs. However, it's very difficult to open with only one. I’ve learned in less than two days that two thumbs are needed for a lot of things, as our world has been designed for humans who have all their digits. Here’s some lists of difficult things, impossible things, etc:

Impossible with one thumb:

  • Buttoning your pants – I’ve had to get people to help me with this, which is simply ridiculous. Luckily I can zip up, but I feel like a child.
  • Zipping a coat – Speaking of zipping, it’s pretty much impossible to line up the zipper parts of a coat with only one thumb. It’s cold in New York.
  • Playing video games – I haven’t actually tried this, but it occurred to me that video game controllers are designed for two thumbs, and nothing else.
  • Getting out of Yoni’s way fast enough – This is one he suggested as I got an ice pop from the Student Life freezer yesterday.
  • Cutting an ice pop – You cannot both hold something and cut it at the same time as both tasks require an individual thumb.

Difficult with one thumb:

  • Getting dressed – Putting on clothing is difficult when you’re confined to one hand, but not impossible. It just takes about three times as long, which is why I’m writing this post in my pajamas.
  • Sleeping – Many otherwise okay sleeping positions are nixed thanks to the fact that my thumb has to be rested, unencumbered, and unpinned to avoid pain.
  • Opening sealed bags – This requires the use of teeth as a surrogate second thumb. I did so for cereal and a gauze package.

Surprisingly unchanged with one thumb:

  • Typing. Luckily it was my left thumb harmed in the accident, and I only hit the spacebar with my right thumb. So my left thumb is the only useless finger of my typing repertoire. Any other finger and we’d be in trouble though.

Me and my fleeces

Posted in Ridiculum on August 17th, 2010 by Nathan – Be the first to comment

My current two fleeces. Admire them while you still have the chance. The other day, as part of an “employee appreciation” thing at camp, I received a new fleece. It’s quite nice, and I’m really happy to have received it but I am at least a little worried that I may not have it for long.

See, I have a really bad history with fleeces.

I got my first fleece when I was in middle school, to use on Boy Scout camping trips. Almost immediately I burned a hole in the sleeve, near my hand. I’m not entirely sure how this happened but for a while I used it as a thumb hole. Until my freshman year of high school, when I lost the fleece in New Orleans.

The next fleece I owned was given to me in December of 2008 as an employee appreciation gift from National Ramah, my employer in New York. I brought it to camp the next summer, because it was awesome, and promptly lost it.

I received another fleece this December, but I haven’t worn it anywhere out of caution. It seems that I’m not destined to wear fleeces. I now own two but I’m in constant fear that using them will require losing them.

The more fleeces I collect, the more I’m reminded of the bygone fleeces of my past. But at the same time, they are really comfortable, so I don’t know how much longer I can afford to live in fear.

2 Hats and a Poncho

Posted in me! on July 27th, 2009 by Nathan – 4 Comments

I have recently become the owner of two hats and a poncho. These three things came into my possession at different times and they are all unrelated. But the important thing is that I now own two more hats and a poncho.

But not a rain poncho. An Ecuadorian poncho. From Ecuador. No joke. Etan Newman went to Ecuador and sent it back for me. It is wonderful and I am thrilled. See it on top of my bed:

The first hat I received was at Bauer’s. When you take a shot there (as I did on Linda’s birthday), you get to “shoot the bucket,” which is basically just drawing a slip of paper from a bucket and getting whatever the slip says. The slip will say things like “tiny thing” or “keychain” or be as good as “shirt” or “hat.” I drew a hat, and combined with that and the bartenders’ knowledge of my drink of choice, I got this extraordinary hat.

The second hat I received came to me just yesterday. Simcha left camp yesterday to head back to Israel and wanted to thank me for my hard work and helping them in the Mercaz (programming center). So he gave me this hat, part of the Tel Aviv centennial celebration.

Finally, for those interested in seeing how I look wearing the poncho: