Sports teams whose names don't end in 's'

Just to get this out there: I love sports teams whose names don't end with the letter 's.'

I love them because of the creativity involved. I love them because of the rarity. I love them because it makes the team a unit rather than a collection. (Specifically, I love teams that are not plural. Collective or singular is preferred.)

There are really very few teams that fit this. Only seven in the Big Four North American sports.

Baseball has none, (some include the White Sox and Red Sox, but I don't think that fits. Yeah, they don't end with an 's,' but they are quite clearly plural and the 'x' is just stylistic.) and only once in MLB's history has there been such a team: the Louisville Eclipse (1882-84).

Football also has none, though in the past had two: The Providence Steam Roller (1916-33) (apparently also known as Steam Rollers, though) and the Tonawanda Kardex (1921), named after an office supply company. They only played one game, and they lost.

Hockey only has three: Tampa Bay Lightning, Colorado Avalanche, and Minnesota Wild.

Basketball has the remaining four, the most of the Big Four: Miami Heat, Orlando Magic, Oklahoma City Thunder, and Utah Jazz.

When Houston got its very own MLS team, the names proposed for the team were various and interesting: Apollos, Bulls, Eagles, Gatos, Lonestars, Stallions, Toros, Americans, Buffaloes, Generals, 1836, Mustangs, and Stars. Because most of the names suck almost as much as soccer itself, the online voters decisively chose the only good option, and the name for the Houston 1836 was revealed. Unfortunately, the name apparently offended the Hispanic population of the city (1836 was the year Texas achieved independence from Mexico. This would be like if the British population of Philadelphia caused the 76ers to be renamed. Seriously?) and the team was renamed to a slightly less-awesome but still okay name: Houston Dynamo.

I was okay with the change because of the fact that we still ended up with a team whose name didn't end with an 's.' Is Dynamo as good as 1836? No, because I also love numbers in team names. But it's close, because of the lack of an 's.'

And actually, that's pretty much the only area I can think of where soccer wins in terms of sports. By far, MLS has the most non-plural teams. With only nineteen teams in the entire league, a stunning twelve are not plural. Of these, ten are actual nouns (as opposed to "Football Club"): Chicago Fire, Columbus Crew, D.C. United, Houston Dynamo, Montreal Impact, New England Revolution, Philadelphia Union, Sporting Kansas City, LA Galaxy, and Real Salt Lake. The two I didn't count? Toronto FC and FC Dallas.

And on top of that, the MLS past is filled with interesting team names: Tampa Bay Mutiny, Miami Fusion, Dallas Burn, San Jose Clash, and Kansas City Wiz.

Other sports need to step it up. It's embarrassing to lose to soccer in any category, and this needs to be changed. Perhaps if the Astros take my advice and change their name, they can get the ball rolling on this.

  • Coz Mo

    Singular names are minor league-WNBA

  • ReddShadoe

    I hate team names that don't end in "S" or a plural. It's supposed to be politically correct because it means they're a team and not separate players, but it comes off sounding weak and ridiculous, in the same way that most modern plural names do when they try too hard to choose a 'local-sounding' name, like Colorado Rockies or Baltimore Ravens (hey get it? Edgar Allen Poe is from here!). Each name on the list is horrible. The Houston 1836? Doesn't even make sense, maybe 1836ers…

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  • Merrygo8

    Don't forget about the Racine Legion professional football team. They were in the NFL for a brief time.

    • Don't know how I missed that one.

      • Merrygo8

        It's okay. They were pretty obscure!