Staten Island Smells Like Garbage
Posted in Ridiculum on March 16th, 2010 by nathan – 2 Comments
Yesterday I finally completed (after nearly three years in NYC) my tour de boroughs by visiting Staten Island, the fifth borough, the one on which I had previously hoped never to step foot.
Unfortunately, fate was not too kind, and because my brother desired to see the Statue of Liberty, we took the Staten Island Ferry and found ourselves trapped in Staten Island for thirty minutes before another ferry took us back to pleasant, clean(er) Manhattan.
Staten Island actually smells like garbage, which is what I expected. Upon reaching the island, I was amazed that the stories of Staten Island being basically just a landfill (there’s even an ice cream flavor called Staten Island Landfill) were true.
Hopefully those thirty minutes will be the only time in my life I have to visit Staten Island. That’s approximately a whopping 0.00025% of my life thus far, a 0.00025% I will never get back.
My brother is in town, and since it’s his first trip to New York City, we’re doing all kinds of great stuff. Today he got his first “New York Transit Sucks” experience. Here’s how it went down:


First of all, let me say that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin may be the worst hosts I’ve ever seen. It was painful at times and even worse the rest of the time to watch them up there, thinking they were funny, being so unfunny.
When Adir and I
Yesterday morning, I opened the box of a cereal I had purchased a few weeks back since it was on sale at my favorite neighborhood supermarket, Met Foods. It was called “Honey Bunches of Oats: Just Bunches.” The box showed a cute image of a fan blowing the flakes out of a bowl filled with HBO and milk. However, no matter how cute the outside of the box was, it was the inside that would change my life forever.
This will be a quick entry because I have very little to say except for this: apparently I pronounce the word “syrup” differently than others.